DID YOU EAT? (밥 먹었니?), Written and Performed by Zoë Kim*. Photo by Maggie Hall
Presented by Chuang Stage and Seoulful Productions
Written and Performed by Zoë Kim
Directed by Chris Yejin
Dramaturgy by Amrita Ramanan
Choreography by Christopher Shin
Scenic and costume design by Szu Feng Chen
Sound design by Katie Kuan-Yu Chen
Lighting design by Ari Kim
Nov. 12 – 30, 2024
Boston Center for the Arts
Plaza Black Box Theatre
539 Tremont St.
Boston, MA
Article by Kitty Drexel
Age Recommendation: Did You Eat? (밥 먹었니?) is recommended for audiences aged 13 and older.
Content Advisory: Experiences of childhood trauma, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.
BOSTON — In the playbill for Did You Eat? (밥 먹었니?) after the Chuang Stage season info but before her polemic on the white entertainment industry, playwright and performer Zoë Kim writes a letter to the audience. She says, “I wish, For fathers to value their daughters. For mothers to believe their daughters.” As an emotionally neglected child who also grew into a strong, independent woman out of spite, I sincerely wish that, too. There are a lot of us out there. Kim’s story is her own, but unfortunately, her show’s themes are universal.
Kim’s letter continues: she wishes “For you to ask a loved one how they would like to be loved.”
We could not possibly understand the horrors and grief Kim experienced for decades at the hands of her verbally, physically and psychically abusive parents. Her autobiographical play about the family who spoke love but acted hate is Kim’s own; it shines a light on the traumatic experiences of young and adult women raised by parents who couldn’t, wouldn’t or refused to love them. Gather a group of trusting women together and they will share their stories of abuse. My mother had stories; I have stories; my sisters and aunts in faith (not blood) have them, too. We are not an anomaly, we are the victims of a pandemic of violence against women and girls.
Kim wishes “For you to share how you would like to be loved.”
These are the words I share with other survivors: Your abuse is not your fault. You deserve wondrous love. You deserved better then and you deserve better now.
At a certain point in their adult development, an abused adult who perpetuates abuse onto others chooses their pain over healing. Your abuser chose to hurt you. No matter their cultural or personal excuses it was their choice and never your fault. It is possible to choose love while also choosing to hold your abuser accountable. An abuser earns forgiveness through atonement. Forgiveness is not the same as absolution.
DID YOU EAT? (밥 먹었니?), Written and Performed by Zoë Kim*. Photo by Maggie Hall
Kim wishes “For you to practice radical love for yourself and for others.”
Apropos of nothing and because this is a constructive criticism site, I would be remiss in my duties if I did not mention that the pacing of the first 20 minutes lags. The transition from the show’s bright, children’s theatre beginning into Kim’s life story could use smoothing. Otherwise, the story is seamless from start to finish. From its design elements to the acting, Did You Eat? (밥 먹었니?) is impactful storytelling.
For the folks who attended Did You Eat? (밥 먹었니?) and felt a kinship with its story, whether big or small, I hope you find the healing and wondrous love you need.
These are resources available to Boston-area and Boston Chinatown victims and survivors of domestic violence:
- The Asian Task Force Against Domestic Violence: Hotline at 617-338-2355, https://www.atask.org/
- SafeLink is Massachusetts’ statewide 24/7 toll-free domestic violence hotline and a resource for anyone affected by domestic or dating violence. 1-877-785-2020
If you are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (D/HH), please dial 711 – MassRelay Service.
Advocates are bilingual in English and Spanish and have access to a service that can provide translation in more than 130 languages. - The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers assistance and safety planning 24/7.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), TTY 1-800-787-3224
If you’re unable to speak safely, you can chat online at thehotline.org - Massachusetts Domestic Violence (Safe Link), 1-877-785-2020, https://casamyrna.org/get-support/safelink/
If you are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (D/HH), please dial 711 MassRelay Service - Massachusetts Office for Victim Assistance (MOVA), 617-586-1340, https://www.mass.gov/orgs/massachusetts-office-for-victim-assistance
- Mass.gov list of Domestic Violence Services:
https://www.mass.gov/domestic-violence-services
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
It may require persistence to get help, but help is out there. Keep seeking it and it will one day find you.
